


Not Sulking

by hpremshslash



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 04:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpremshslash/pseuds/hpremshslash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Sirius Potter never, ever sulked. He didn't sulk when he couldn't try out for Quidditch first year. He didn't sulk when he kissed a girl and found out he didn't like it. He didn't sulk when he kissed a guy, liked it, and got caught. He definitely didn't sulk when he discovered he had a crush on his god-brother. Sulking was a waste of time that would never get him what he wanted. He hated sulking. James never sulked because he knew it wouldn't do anything for him.<br/>Except he kind of did and it actually kind of did help. A lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Sulking

**Author's Note:**

> First James Sirius/Teddy fic. Not beta-ed. If you see any errors please point them out!

James Sirius Potter never, ever sulked. He didn't sulk when he couldn't try out for Quidditch first year. He didn't sulk when he kissed a girl and found out he didn't like it. He didn't sulk when he kissed a guy, liked it, and got caught. He definitely didn't sulk when he discovered he had a crush on his god-brother. Sulking was a waste of time that would never get him what he wanted. He hated sulking. James never sulked because he knew it wouldn't do anything for him.

Except he kind of did and it actually kind of did help. A lot. 

-break-

"Potter!" shouted Wood, the 6th year Gryffindor Quidditch captain. "What are you doing here?"

James looked at him as though he was crazy. "What does it look like?"

"Just because your dad was on the Quidditch team his first year doesn't mean you will be!"

"I know that. That's why I'm here. To try out."

Wood said, "Sorry, kiddo. First years aren't allowed to try out. Even if they are Harry Potter's son."

"But I--" James started.

"Sorry. Try again next year." Wood looked amused.

James however, was not. He took his broom and walked all the way back to his dormitory. He slammed the door and flopped down on his bed. 

He didn't get out of bed for the rest of the day. James laid there until he fell asleep. His pillow wasn't dry when he woke. He wasn't on the Quidditch team, but was determined to make it next year.

-break- 

Third year James Potter was fixing to go on his first date in Hogsmeade with a girl. Not just any girl, but Claire Wood, the smartest, most beautiful girl in Gryffindor. 

Claire was a fourth year so she was an older woman. James was ecstatic that she agreed to go with him. Sure James was a handsome young man, but he was younger than her. Nonetheless, James couldn't be more excited. 

Claire was to meet James in the common room and they would walk down together. When James finished obsessing over what to wear -the red shirt or the blue shirt? Definitely the red- , his hair -does it ever lie flat?- , and what to say -no Quidditch talk, no Teddy talk- , he walked downstairs. Claire was already waiting for him. She looked pretty in her green dress. James walked over to her.

Claire smiled, "Hey."

"Hi," James said. "You ready?"

She nodded. 

They were silent walking down to the Great Hall. When they walked by Flich, he glared at James. James glared back.

They were silent walking to Hogsmeade until Claire asked, "So do you want to go to Puddifoots?"

Internally, James groaned. Externally, he replied, "Sure."

"You'll love it."

James was doubtful.

Walking into Puddifoots, James saw it was as bad as his dad told him. It was pink. Very pink. They walked over to a table in the back. A young witch walked over and asked what would they like. 

After the got their butterbeers, James asked Claire what her favourite subject was. She answered Charms. 

After several minutes of pointless small talk, Claire asked, "You ready to leave?"

James couldn't answer fast enough. "Yes, definitely."

James paid and they left. While they walked, Claire reached over and took James hand. James thought it felt weird. They walked to the Shrieking Shack and stood looking. 

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" Claire asked impatiently. 

Startled, James nodded. 

James leaned in slowly and pressed his lips against Claire's. She tasted like cherry lip gloss. James hated cherries. He lips were all sticky and to soft. James pulled away fast.

"Sorry, I've got to go," said James just before he turned and ran all the way back to Hogwarts. He didn't know why, but kissing Claire felt so wrong. Shouldn't he, a horny thirteen year old boy, enjoy it and want to go further? So why didn't he?

When he got to his dormitory, he layed on it and thought he was weird. He was wrong. There must be something extremely messed up in his head. He didn't like kissing a girl, the hottest girl in Gryffindor. Why must he be even more different? Would he ever want to kiss anyone? Would he ever like it?

James fell into a fitful sleep. When he awoke with painful morning wood after a dream about Colin, his best friend, he realized it must only be girls that he didn't like kissing. 

-break- 

It was James Potter's fifth year. OWL year. The hardest year according to most. Something was hard, but it defiantly wasn't the year. So far anyways.

James' back was pressed up against the Quidditch locker room wall, his hands pinned above him. He was hard, painfully hard. Bradley White, sixth year Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, was also hard. 

"Kiss me already," James demanded.

Bradley smirked, "What if I don't want to?"

Rolling his eyes, James said, "Of course you do. I'm James Potter."

Bradley laughed, then smiled, "Okay James. I'll kiss you. Only if you answer one question."

"What?"

"How did you know I liked blokes?"

"Colin told me. He said he saw you kissing Ben."

"Oh. Okay," Bradley looked relived. 

James smiled. "Kiss me."

"Gladly."

Bradley leaned in and pressed his mouth against James'. James thought it was the best thing ever. 

At first, it was just lips against lips. Before too long, James wanted more. James tongue licked Bradley's lips. Bradley moaned and opened his mouth. James explored it everywhere. He tongue danced with Bradley's, fighting for control. James moaned. 

Bradley broke the kiss, but imeditally when to James throat. James leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It felt to good. Way better than kissing a girl.

They broke apart only when they heard a gasp. Standing in the doorway was Albus. 

"Er..." Al started.

James eyes went wide, "Al! What are you doing here?"

Albus coughed and answered, "Looking for you. But if you're busy-"

"It's fine," Bradley interrupted. "I'll leave."

"You don't have to," Al said.

Smiling Bradley said, "It's fine. See you later, James?"

"Definitely," James grinned.

Bradley kissed James softly, then left.

After the door closed, James asked, "So, how long were you there?"

"Not to long," Al blushed.

"Okay."

"I didn't know you were gay." 

"Yeah, well, I am."

"Since when?" asked Al.

"Since forever."

"No shit," Al rolled his eyes. "I meant when did you find out?"

"Oh, third year." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I... I didn't know how you'd react," James said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Al looked confused.

"It's okay if you hate me."

"What? I don't hate you!"

"Really?"

"Really."

James smiled, "Thanks."

"Nothing to thank me for."

Albus left after that. James went to a bench and sat down. So he finally kissed a guy. He liked it. Bradley's lips weren't sticky and they were a little chapped. Bradley tasted like peppermint and sweat. He tasted amazing. The kiss was amazing. 

Al caught them, but he wasn't disgusted. Just surprised. He still loved James.

So why was it that James felt sad and disappointed? Why did he want to cry? Shouldn't he feel happy? James didn't know why, but he just wanted to go to bed.

James walked slowly to the Gryffindor tower. He said the password and walked upstairs. No one was in the dormitory. James fell on his bed and fell asleep quickly.

When he woke, James knew why he felt sad. He was kissing the wrong guy. All he had to do was find the right guy. 

-break-

The summer between sixth and seventh years was the summer Teddy Lupin would stay with the Potters. James was excited. Teddy hadn't stated with them in a long time. Sure, he has seen Teddy, but he hasn't stayed with them. James had missed it. Had missed Teddy.

Today was the day Teddy was going to arrive. James woke extra early and waited impatiently all day. Teddy said he would be there at 12.30, but knowing Teddy he would at least be an hour late.

James was in the living room with his dad and Lily. His mom and Al were in the kitchen finishing up lunch. Harry and Lily were talking, but James wasn't paying attention. For reasons he couldn't explain, he was very nervous, but also very excited about seeing Teddy. James hadn't seen Teddy since last August. 

True to his nature, Teddy arrived at 1.37.

James was starring at the door when he heard a knock. 

"I'll get it!" James shouted, jumped up, and ran to the door.

He opened the door and his heart stopped. When had Teddy got so gorgeous? James wanted to kiss him. 

Instead, he said, "Teddy!" and hugged him.

Teddy laughed and hugged James back. "Hey."

James didn't want to let go, but he did incase it looked suspicious.

Teddy smiled and said, "Harry, Ginny, Lily, Albus, hey. I've missed you guys."

"We missed you too, Teddy."

James was starring at Teddy. He hoped no one noticed. He forced himself to look away and looked at Al. Bad mistake. Al noticed and gave him a weird look. 

Al. Knew. 

Oh, shit.

James didn't even know until two minutes ago, but Al already knew. Was he really that obvious?

"Teddy, Albus and I just finished lunch. Are you hungry?" asked Ginny.

"I'm starving."

They all went into the kitchen. The table was set for six. James sat down. Teddy sat next to him.

Everyone was talking while they ate. Everyone except James. He couldn't concentrate on his food when Teddy was sitting next to him. Teddy's right arm kept on brushing against James left. It was very distracting. James didn't know why, but he knew right then that he loved Teddy. Always had and always will.

James felt sick.

"Dad," he said, "may I be excused?"

"Are you not hungry?" asked Harry.

"No."

"Okay, then."

"Thanks," James muttered. 

James got up and went to his room. Once there, he flopped down on his bed and frowned.

Why must he like his god-brother? Why couldn't he like someone else? Anyone else? James had know Teddy since he was born. It was so, so wrong. James felt dirty. 

Yet, it didn't fell wrong. It felt very right. 

James didn't know how long he layed there. It seemed like forever. 

About an hour later, Teddy walked in and sat on the edge of James bed.

"Hey," he said.

James grunted in response.

"Albus told me," Teddy said after a couple minutes silence.

James sat up. "Told you what?"

"That you are gay."

"Oh," James blushed and turned away. 

"Hey," Teddy said softly. "Look at me."

James turned his head and looked back at Teddy who was smiling.

"James it's nothing to be ashamed about."

"I know. I'm not. It's just I love this guy and I know it's so wrong," sighed James and looked down at his hands.

Grinning, Teddy said, "I love you, too, James."

James head snapped up quickly. He looked shocked. Teddy laughed.

"But-"

"James, shut up," ordered Teddy. 

James shut his mouth. He was glad he did because Teddy leaned in and kissed him. James never felt so happy. James knew this was right. He and Teddy were made for each other. 

After kissing slowly for a few minutes, Teddy pulled away and rested his forehead against James own. James smiled and grabbed Teddy's hand. 

James knew he and Teddy would always be together.

-break-

Sulking wasn't as bad as James thought. 

Especially when, in the end, you got what you wanted all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! :)


End file.
